I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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