24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
