Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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