Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
