this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
