This is not my ceiling
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
