I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I touched a dick in church today
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
