see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
