I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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