Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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