and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
they need to just BURY HIM!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize