Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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