Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
