New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
