yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
