you guys were way drunker than both of me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
