So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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