theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
