She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
