No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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