I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
