I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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