Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I've blown a few things in my day
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
