there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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