the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
