Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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