you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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