Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
