Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
