Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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