the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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