the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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