We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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