she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I had to cum in my sink.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
