don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
