New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
