We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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