Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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