just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
