We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
