This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize