If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
