Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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