You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
