I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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