i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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