You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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