my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
