we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
