I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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