omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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