did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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