I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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