Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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