I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize