# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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