The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
