i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You pole danced in your parka.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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