Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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