part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
