If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
