Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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