im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
