I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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