Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Boobs speak an international language.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
