he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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