don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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