Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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