I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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