he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
