OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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