Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
