how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
