No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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