PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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