I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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