i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
