She said her name was "party"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
