Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
