my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
