He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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