best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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