And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
